Grief and Loss

If you have experienced the loss of a loved one, you have come to the right place.  At Lakeside Counseling we specialize in grief, loss and trauma.  Losing someone we love and leave us feeling like someone cut out our heart and yet we are expected to go on.  The pain from grief can be unbearable and leaves us feeling  sad, numb,  isolated, lonely, hopeless, irritable, anxious and depressed.  It affects our mental and physical health.  We forget to eat and drink water, so make sure you are drinking water.  It is important to understand that you are not alone.  Everyone processes grief in their own way and there is no right or wrong way to do grief.  The grieving process is as unique as the individual experiencing it.  

We want to assure you that you are not alone.  

Throughout the course of our years, we all experience a loss at some point in our lives. In fact, statistics show that 1 in 5 children will experience the death of someone close to them before 18 years of age. Feelings of grief and loss are not always associated with death, however, but commonly surface after a loss of some kind – whether it is the loss of a loved one, a severed relationship, a pregnancy, a pet, or a job. There are many different kinds of grief we help clients with all types of grief including sudden, instant, traumatic, and violent loss.  We do not judge or measure grief and loss.  What hurts for you hurts for you.  The one thing we do know is that the only way through grief is in it.  We have to feel it to heal it.  We help you walk through this process in a safe way.  Teaching you ways to help regulate your emotions, cope with the distress, grief and trauma. Part of the grieving process is allowing yourself the time and space you need to be able to feel the pain.  

Many people don’t know what to say or do when a person is grieving, but be sure to have patience with the individual (including yourself) throughout the entire process. The best thing to do to support a grieving person is just be there.  It's okay to say, "I don't know what to say but I am here and I know you are hurting and I love you."

One of the first books we recommend is, "It's Okay to Not Be Okay", by Megan Devine.  Here is a picture of it below.  This book walks you through the process of how to allow yourself to begin to allow yourself to feel your feelings.  

When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief. "Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form," says Megan Devine. "It is a natural and sane response to loss."

So, why does our culture treat grief like a disease to be cured as quickly as possible?

In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides―as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner―Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. In this compelling and heartful book, you’ll learn:

• Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief
• How challenging the myths of grief―doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold―allows us to accept grief as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve
• Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain
• How to help the people you love―with essays to teach us the best skills, checklists, and suggestions for supporting and comforting others through the grieving process

Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief. Megan writes, "Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution." Through stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices, she offers a unique guide through an experience we all must face―in our personal lives, in the lives of those we love, and in the wider world.

It’s OK That You’re Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves―and each other―better.

It's Ok That You're Not Ok

  This is a really simple little book that is easy to read right after loss.  It's an odly but a goody. 

How to Survive The Loss of a Love

Bearing the Unbearable is a Foreword INDIES Award-Winner — Gold Medal for Self-Help. __ When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable—especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, “ NO!” with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear—and often lasts for much longer than other people, the non-bereaved, tell us it should.Bearing The Unbearable

Bearing the Unbearable

In Grief is Love, author Marisa Renee Lee reveals that healing does not mean moving on after losing a loved onehealing means learning to acknowledge and create space for your grief. It is about learning to love the one you lost with the same depth, passion, joy, and commitment you did when they were alive, perhaps even more. She guides you through the pain of grief—whether you’ve lost the person recently or long ago—and shows you what it looks like to honor your loss on your unique terms, and debunks the idea of a grief stages or timelines.  Grief is Love is about making space for the transformation that a significant loss requires.

In beautiful, compassionate prose, Lee elegantly offers wisdom about what it means to authentically and defiantly claim space for grief’s complicated feelings and emotions. And Lee is no stranger to grief herself, she shares her journey after losing her mother, a pregnancy, and, most recently, a cousin to the COVID-19 pandemic. These losses transformed her life and led her to question what grief really is and what healing actually looks like. In this book, she also explores the unique impact of grief on Black people and reveals the key factors that proper healing requires: permission, care, feeling, grace and more.

The transformation we each undergo after loss is the indelible imprint of the people we love on our lives, which is the true definition of legacy. At its core, Grief is Love explores what comes after death, and shows us that if we are able to own and honor what we’ve lost, we can experience a beautiful and joyful life in the midst of grief. 

Grief is Love



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